Girly Girl

Intervention in New Orleans


I got the strangest 911 phone call from my sister, Lisa, asking if I could drive to New Orleans with her for an intervention with my youngest brother. Anyone who knows me knows that I avoid drama like the plaque.  I’m not one to get involved.  Why?  
 
It’s not because I don’t care. 
It’s not because I don’t want to help. 

It’s because if I’ve learned anything, it’s that we’re all on a different path in life and unfortunately we have to find our own way.

Maybe it’s because I’m a parent.  Maybe it’s because I’m completely cynical.  Maybe it’s because I’ve gotten beat up so many times that I know that I’m the only one who I can change.

 
For what ever reason, I believe that we each have to hit rock bottom for real change to happen AND it has to be our idea.  When life gets really dark, I have found that you have to want to find the light and do whatever it takes to learn, grow, and avoid those situations in the future.  No one can do it for you.

However, I’ll do anything for my sister.  {{anything}}

So we jumped in the car and drove 8 hours to give my brother an intervention because he announced his breakdown on Facebook.

Let’s face it, we all feel the need to self destruct sometimes.  In all honesty, I do it at least once a year.  Yep, my secrets out.  About once a year I have a complete identity crisis:  Who am I?  Why am I doing what I’m doing?  Is it worth it?  Is this the life I want?  {{you know what I’m talking about}}


However, the key to self destructing is
NOT TO LEAVE ANY EVIDENCE.

Do not self destruct online.
Do not leave a paper trail.  Do not write angry letters and mail them.  {{you burn them}}
Do not leave any evidence.  {{no bruises, no hurt feelings, no shock value}}

Yes, this is {some} of the advice I gave my brother.  When you hit rock bottom – you suffer like an adult.  Not like a spoiled rotten teen. 

The key is to be able to live an even better life once you pick yourself back up.  Not have to do damage control once you’re self-pity moment is finally over.  {{duh!}}

On our long drive up Lisa and I wrote in a journal a bunch of advice and the personal experience when we learned that lesson the hard way.  The parent in me wants him to learn from our mistakes and live a better life.

But let’s face it, I know better than that.  Just like I had to live the hard way, so does my brother as well as my boys.  That’s just life.  It’s unfair, hard, and a heck of a lot of work.

I think the key is to create fun moments that you can reflect on when life beams you in the head with lemons.

Friday night was rough as Lisa and I tried to reason with a self-destructing 23 year old.  Saturday was crazy fun as we ate way too much cajun food, saw a movie, shopped, and toured New Orleans.  {{dude it’s smelly!}}

However, I came home with a new appreciation for my own little ones with their very simple and uncomplicated lives.

I know there will be a time very shortly when their innocence will completely change.  I pray that at that point I’m able to handle it in a very Love and Logic way.  Sadly, they have a mother who will not enable or rescue them.  Right now life is sweet – but the time will come when they’ll be on their own to learn the hard way… just like everyone else.

In the meantime, I’ll indulge their sweet tooth and love them the only way I know how: to help gain a testimony of our Savior Jesus Christ, help them to learn how to make their own choices, and pick themselves up when they’ve fallen. 
{{I pray this is enough}}

3 thoughts on “Intervention in New Orleans

  1. Sorry to hear about your brother drama. Hope he comes through this OK. 23 is a very young age though, especially for guys. I've got one just a couple of years younger and I was yelling at him yesterday to clean up his room. Hopefully you made a positive impression on your brother and he will eventually turn to the right choices for his life.

  2. Very well said. Its hard to see friends and family fall. Especially when they hit bottom. But they've got to figure it out in their own time.

    I have a couple of friends that have been chasing their own demons lately. I have a small desire to smack them upside the head and ask, "What in the world are you thinking?"

    But you're right. It doesn't matter what I say or do, they've got to figure it out on their own.

    I hope you're brother gets his life back on track.

    Best wishes

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