There Is No Reality; Only Perception

{{this is my reality and my perception}}

Last week, three different people gave me a little insight to their perception of what I contribute to their lives. To sum it up, I fell short.

At first, I felt completely defensive. In my head I was saying, “Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea of how much I accomplish each day? Do you have any idea of how busy and complicated my life is? ”

Then I remembered what Dr. Phil said, “No matter what happens in your life, how you interpret that event is up to you.”

Each conversation got me thinking and finally I realized that this is their reality and therefore important. This is how they interpreted my actions. They can’t help how they feel and I should be glad that they felt comfortable enough to talk to me about it.

I’ve always known that I’m terrible at managing expectations and lately I’ve been too tired to even try. As a result, it turns out that I have taken for granted some of the people around me. I’ve been so focused on my creating my own experience that I haven’t nurtured a couple of the people I hold dear.

I don’t know why I was approached by several people in a matter of days but in retrospect I’m glad I was. The point was made and I got it.

“We only know and experience this life through the meaning or the relevance of perceptions that we assign to it.” – Dr. Phil

Since I’m a person who puts very little value on image, I don’t care what other people think of me and I don’t care what my reputation is. I’ve always had the opinion that people who can’t deal with who I am {{all the good, bad, and ugly}} simply don’t have to be in my life. That’s their problem not mine.

However, as I’ve been contemplating several issues that have arisen over the past month or so, I’ve realized whether I want to admit it or not, I do hold some responsibility to how other people around me are feeling. Consciously or not, I put out image and create expectations and make myself a reputation.

It has occur ed to me that you can also put too much out there. And in my opinion, too much of anything isn’t healthy.

To date, this is my 427th post. Usually I would consider this an accomplishment of a commitment I’ve made. However, today it means that I’ve contributed 427 more information about me than anyone should know. {{giggle}}

I’m not a private person per se but I like my space. I like certain people to know everything about me and others to know very little. In real life this is easy to control, however being a blogger it’s not.

I’ve been wondering if some of these issues have been caused because people I know in real life are reading my blog and coming up with their own interpretations of my life. I’ll be honest and admit, that there were a couple days when I decided that I was going to go private. I felt like that would solve all these issues and I could go back to a time when life was simple. A time when blenvy didn’t exist, people didn’t have a play-by-play of what I was doing, or who I was doing it with. Everyone in my life would feel special and know that I care about them because when I’m with a friend, I’m with that friend enjoying the moment.

I think it’s important for people in my life to know that I’ve always had this busy, always moving, striving to be better, creative, flawed life. I didn’t just happen because I started blogging.

To everyone in my real life,

I adore you. I have a young soul and have to learn everything by trial and error. I don’t know it all and I don’t think I do. I’m not fabulous at relationships, at times I struggle. I can’t read your mind, I wish I could. I cherish your friendship. I don’t judge. I try to understand your perspective in life and learn to appreciate it and enjoy it. Sometimes it conflicts with mine, I’m ok with that. We don’t all have to be the same. Please forgive me if I can’t remember what your husband does, or what I did last week, or when I called you last.

Know that I feel blessed to have you in my life.


P.S. I find myself making every possible mistake. Love me anyway.

16 thoughts on “There Is No Reality; Only Perception

  1. i am all over this too! and have been in the same boat. often. it’s frustrating.
    and gets old.

    love the “stache” pic.
    you are a brave soul. to share that.

  2. Well, let me just say that I feel you and I think that you should keep on being you. Leave other people room to be themselves and it will all work out. Don’t stress about it. Bottom line, I think is that we are all still responsible for our own responses. Too many people are too quick to take offense. In the end, if you are trying to be your best self, you can’t be held responsible for their issues.

    Love ya!!!

  3. something I have always loved about you is that you are so real and so raw! I love that you are you and that you inspire others but aren’t afraid to admit your own mistakes and faults. You’re amazing either way!

  4. I love that you blog about the highs and lows, the fun times and the hard times. Keep doing what you’re doing!

  5. I admire your willingness to be so real in your posts! Something we should all aspire to 🙂

    It’s a good reminder that we shouldn’t paint the picture that everything in our life is perfect and certainly none of us are perfect!

    Thank you for who you are!

  6. Gosh I could have written this post myself! It’s taken me a long long time to accept me for me and I’m done trying to keep everyone happy. It’s impossible!

    You go girl!

  7. I love the quote, “to thine own self, be true.” I think that it most definitely applies here.
    We can only be responsible for the realities that we actuate, not the perceptions of others.
    I think that September was melt-down month… (it sure was for me!) now that it is out of the way, let’s get holiday-ing.

  8. be yourself. that is who i have always loved and admired. you are such a wonderful person with so many talents and i am thankful for the light you are in my life. don’t let others discourage you.
    i love ya,

  9. That was powerful. I am relatively new blogger and it just occurred to me recently that people I know in my real life might be feeling like I am not making time for them when they read about times spent with OTHER friends. Oi vey.

    Well said, thank you for sharing that with us all.

  10. I think everyone has parts of this post wher they are relating to. Or saying I feel just like that. Thanks for sharing. All we can do is our best right.

  11. I love this post. It is so hard to do everything you want to do and need to do and then feel like you are still falling short. Thanks for reminding me to love myself and be true to me!!

  12. I just found both of your blogs today through a friend (your tip one is on my blogroll now btw) and I absolutely love both sites!

    This post struck a chord with me as some of these same things have been on my mind. In fact, my post today had a lot to do with it. Keep on doing what you are. It seems like you are very happy and so is your family. Those are the MOST important…

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