Mama Bear Came Out!

I don’t think I’ve mentioned it before but last year I had to hire an attorney to help me mediate with our school district. A little background, Davis has been mainstreamed but in Special Education under the Autism umbrella for 4 1/2 years. He was diagnosed with PDD NOS (lame man’s terms = high functioning autism) since he was 4.

Then we move to Keller (a new school district), they test him, and… they tell me he doesn’t have autism! They think I should be so realieved to know that Davis does not have autism. Davis tested 3 digits above the autism allowance and therefore he will not be receiving any special accomodations and exited out of special ed and speech therapy. (Mind you this was after 45 minutes of talking about the 12 page list of his deficits.) To make a long story short, I exploded and hired an attorney that day.
I had my 3 hour ARD meeting this week and let’s just say, Mama Bear Came Out once again! The director over Special Ed tried to imply that my phycologist (a new outside assemesment) lied in his report and was going through it line by line and refuting it. That was only in the first 5 min of our meeting.
I’ll spare you the play by play but let’s just say I had to get ugly. With my soul sista head nod and finger point, I let them know that under no circumstances am I going to let them negate my 8 years of hard work, structure, self-concept, and social skills training with Davis. Not to mention the thousands of dollars I’ve spent on therapies, special diets, and medical testing to let them overturn his diagnois to ADHD because they say so. I told them that obviously they have no idea who they are dealing with because they are kidding themselves if they think I don’t fully intend to use every resource in my power to advocate for my son.
We left the meeting agreeing to let them do more testing around language and comprehension and meet again in a month.

After 100 pages of documentation, 4 doctors, lots of medical tests, play therapy, occupational therapy, etc. over 4 1/2 years. I don’t know what will prove it.
I’m tired.

30 thoughts on “Mama Bear Came Out!

  1. BEYOND FRUSTRATING- I hear ya sister. If anyone understands, it’s me. I could go on and on (we have an attorney, fought & won and now they’re back at it again)…but the bottom line is- DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO. It still kills me though. Having a special kid is hard enough- why do they have to make it harder (and to add to it, usually the people arguing against you don’t have any “special kids” so they have NO idea how much time, effort, money, emotion it takes to raise a child like Davis or J)…anyway, I’m here for you. And sorry you have to go through all of it. Hang in there and keep fighting.

  2. UGH! I’m sorry it didn’t go well. Those people are really out to lunch. I just can’t see how long this can continue. They are doing it to SO many families now. It’s ridiculous.

    I’m glad you wagged your finger, girl. I hope it really scared them.

  3. you go girl! don’t let those mean bullies push you around… put up a fight! you are definitly doing the right thing. they are just trying to save a buck, but you know what’s right for you own child. do what you have to… it will be worth it in the end. if anything, all those tests show is the amount and time of work and effort you put into helping your son, and that it is truly paying off.

  4. Good for you! I have a son with some special needs and I know that mama bear feeling all too well. I’m working on getting more bold as he’s getting closer to school age. You have to do what you have to do for your kids. Go Laurie!!

  5. Who do they think they are?! You go mama bear! You have every right to do what you did. And I would have loved to see all the head and finger action! *B

    PS- I have a couple of cousins who have autism or Asperger’s, which prompted a research paper on dietary intervention. Who knows, I may look into developing it some more for my upcoming thesis in a few years. Perhaps I could pick over your gathered information, or brain…

  6. That is horrible! I am so sorry that you have to go through this! They probably have found that this flies with some people. Good for you for sticking up for Davis! If his Mama won’t, who will??

  7. Laurie, so sorry you have to go through this, but way to stand your ground and be there for your son. You are the only one who really know him. Hope things all work out for the better. Good Luck!

  8. Wow, you live in Keller!!! My parents live in Keller, they’re in the Keller 2nd ward. What a small world! We live 45 minutes north of keller. Anyway…way to go mama bear! I can’t believe what you’re having to deal with! I hope it all goes well!

  9. Good for you!! I hope it all works out for you guys in the long run! Sometimes you need to show them who is boss!!

  10. JERKS! You go!!! I want to hear the end to this story. I’m all uppity just reading that post- I’m sure you’ll be heard!

  11. Yikes! What frustration! What a pain in the neck! I have a friend who had to sue the school district to get them to accept an autism diagnosis for their son. My oldest son has a speech delay and so far we are doing OK dealing with school district, but I think sometimes that the parents here just don’t know what their rights are. Best of luck getting a good outcome for Davis! And I love your mama bear picture! You go girl!

  12. Good for you. I think I’m pretty mild mannered in general, but when it comes to my kids (or even someone else’s kids–I’m very overprotective of kids in general) I have an opinion about right and wrong. I don’t always have the guts to stand up for myself, but I can stand up for them.

  13. Oh Laurie, I’m so sorry you are having to deal with these ibecils. (I probably am one too as I’m sure I spelled that wrong!) As if life isn’t full and crazy enough. Hang on for one more week girl and then you can let it all hang loose with a P-A-R-T-Y!!!

  14. 1. I gotta say, you go girl. 2. Why does this have to be so hard? 3. Keep fighting the GOOD fight, because it helps all of us.

  15. I really appreciate all of your support! This really has been a nightmare that I feel like I don’t have time or energy to deal with.

    Davis’ teacher called me afterwards and told me how glad she was that I was able to stand my ground in a room full of 12 people against me. I was so grateful for her call because this was the first time I had met my new Principal and second time to meet her. I was worried that this would hinder our working relationship but it has seemed to do the opposite and strengthened it. She related some nice things that the principal had said about me as well.

    I’m relieved. I’ll keep you guys posted. I really need to change my attitude and focus on the positive.

  16. You are such a fighter! I’m glad you stood your ground and are not letting them get away with throwing all your hard work out the window. I cannot imagine what is going through their heads! Come on! I’m sorry you have to go through this.

  17. Hang in there! I am a FIRM believer in the idea that parents KNOW thier children much better then ANYONE! You are a GREAT Mom and remember to go with your gut. God gave us our “gut feelings” for a reason and we need to use them!

    If you make your stand early and clearly I have a feeling that they will respect you in the long run.

    I’m sure it is tough to be on this end of the coin. I ALWAYS enjoy working with parents that LOVE thier kids and will fight for them-
    I will pray for you!

  18. Good for you. I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been but you’ll get results, I’m sure, and then it will be worth it. Good luck and good job!!!

  19. It will prove that you are an amazing mother and the only real person who will advocate for your child! good for you, I hope that lawyer gets you everything Davis needs plus some money for your obvious pain and suffering.

  20. way to go making your view known! and not backing down! I’m sure the whole ordeal was horrible! and I’m so glad his teacher is with you on this one. I am all about being my own advocate! seems like schools and dr.s and insurances are all about the bottom line and they don’t care who it effects! stand your ground and DON’T BACK DOWN! Johny Cash style!

  21. I hope you had some time to rest over the weekend. This “mama bear” parenting stuff is so freaking hard sometimes!! And it’s unbelieveable that the new school pulled that move with your son. I’m glad you didn’t back down. I don’t even know you, and already I like you! (It’s that mama bear thing–hee).

    Do you ever feel like you just in a boxing ring and the bell rang for round 32 and you know you’re gonna fall flat on your face any second? My only hope is that the opponent hits the ground first and leaves me standing.

  22. Thanks for visiting my blog recently.

    I got a little hot under the collar reading this post and it isn’t even my child! I love bear-mama’s. They keep this world spinning the right direction!

    I can identify. I raised a hearing impaired son and sometimes you gotta fight to get things done.

    By the way I am dealing with a condition that is described as ??autism like symptoms?? (I have been through many conventional and alternative treatments and diets and found a book called “Battling the MSG Myth that is helping me – it may be of help to you.??)

  23. wow!! what an ordeal. i love how outside people think they know more about your kid than you do. good for you bringing in the big guns and the mama bear!!

  24. My son has been diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome.
    As you know such diagnoses and treatments need to be considered with the individual person (child) in mind.
    I am heartened by the facts that you have organised interventions for your son and go to bat for him in this way.
    I learnt early on that nothing happens unless we MAKE it happen and drive the process.
    My son has caused me extra efforts on his behalf.
    I wouldn’t trade them, or him, for anything.
    All the best in all that you do

  25. Hang in there…our special needs kids are worth fighting for!!! It is so frustrating dealing with all the red tape, though. I am going to bat at an IEP in a couple weeks for my little guy. Any special “mama bear tips” for me? I am very wimpy dealing with these types!!! Maybe I could fly you out to be my advocate?!!!

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