Blogger · Genuine

Blogging 101 – What Not To Do

Since I just did a post to welcome a bunch of new bloggers, I thought I’d give our newbies some good tried and true: Blogging 101 -What NOT to do!

Yes, this is unsolicited advice from yours truly, but I think it’s about time someone addresses the issues.

#1. Don’t get green with envy, Blenvy it’s coined, while reading other’s blogs. According to CJane, “It usually comes from reading a blog that emphasizes my insecurities.” Well said blogger guru. I couldn’t agree with you more.

Please remember that each post is just a moment of that person’s day/week. Instead, just be happy that something amazing happened to your fellow blogger. Be inspired by them! If you really feel the need, use that insecurity to make a change in your own life and do something similar.

#2. If people don’t update their blog roll by adding your name under ‘Friends & Family’ don’t get your feelings hurt. It’s simply a nice gesture, forgotten. Seasoned bloggers rarely even look at their sidebar anymore – let alone update it frequently.

#3. Never ask yourself, “Is insert blogger’s name mad at me? She doesn’t comment on my blog.”

I realize that there is probably an expectation of family and friends to read your blog. However, don’t expect anyone to read your blog and don’t fall into this negative thinking.

You’ve got to understand that every blogger is on a different commitment level. You have your newbies who are completely addicted and spend every possible moment blog-jogging. To the end of the spectrum of your more seasoned bloggers who have developed their routine and only take the time to read their top 10 favorites. It’s hard to imagine, but some people get completely burned out and need to take breaks from reading others blogs now and then.

#4. Don’t feel left out. Now that you have a more intimate look at your friends lives (in real life), they might post outings that you weren’t invited to attend. Please do not let it eat at you, make you feel left out, or that you’re not an important friend in that person’s life.

Life is crazy, busy, and things happen spare of the moment. You don’t know the whole story as to how the event got organized and why certain people where invited and you weren’t. You are special and you are important to your friend! Just let it go, or better yet, plan a fun get together and be sure to invite her. You’ll feel much better!

#5. Guilt is overrated. You will come across some AMAZING moms. Honestly, I’ve been blown away by so many of you and your creativity and dedication to your family. Again, don’t feel guilty or envious of these genetically gifted women. Instead, be inspired to make some changes in your own family. Use their techniques and strategies to empower yourself.

#6. Keep it real. While posting on your own blog be sure to allow yourself to open up and not only share your glamorous side, but also your self portraits, your struggles, and your hopes and dreams. You will find that bloggers are some of the most unjudgemental, forgiving, and loving people you’ll have in your life. Use this positive energy to help you get through the tough times as well as celebrate the good ones.

So, when do I suffer from blenvy you ask? Well… it’s not when I read about Kelly’s travels, it’s not when I read Denae’s super cool themed posts, it’s not the projects and gifts Kristi comes up with, it’s not how creative Heather is and how close her extended family is… although I know you wouldn’t blame me and would completely understand.

It’s on simple posts, like when one of you are gushing about a conversation you had with your child, when you’re expressing the love and gratitude you have for your daughter, or a dance recital post.

Oh what I would give for my boys not to have their developmental trials. Oh what I would give to have reciprocal conversations with my boys. Oh what I would give for a daughter. Those are the times when I let myself feel a little self-pity – just for a moment. Then I’m able to enjoy that post and the joy it brought to that lucky mommy.

When do you suffer from blenvy?

40 thoughts on “Blogging 101 – What Not To Do

  1. Amen. This is a fabulous post! Who hasn’t felt some if not all of these feelings at one point while blogging. Thanks for posting this.

  2. What a great post! Oh man, I get a huge case of Blenvy at times. That’s when I have to step away from the computer and realize how many blessings I have before I can get back into reading that blog. Otherwise it would just eat at me. I’ll never be a super mom. Ever!

  3. What a really great post. It’s a good reminder. No one is expected to put their whole entire life on their blog for the world to see if they don’t want to. We just take bits and pieces of what we want to share.

    I have “blenvy” of a lot of people, but I know it’s ridiculous and I need to get over it.

    And I wish I had time to comment on everyone’s blogs, because every one writes such great things, but there just aren’t enough hours, and family always comes first.

    Thanks for posting this. You’re awesome!

  4. this was the best post ever! i fully agree with all of it! and i am totally referring people over to read it. `

    hmmm blenvy? i used to have a really hard time with that. all the moms who volunteer, or make time to do fabulous hands on crafts with their kids. whereas those things make me insane. also comparing myself to the moms with only a couple kids and wondering why my house isn’t organized,and decorated to teh hilt. not that i don’t want those things, but it isn’t my time for that.

    but I’ve learned to let those things go. so blenvy? not so much anymore.

    and commenting, and my sidebar! you hit the nail on the head! if they are regular commenters they get added to my reader, and i comment occasionally. because life happens and if i don’t live it, i have nothing to blog about.

  5. This is very good and needed. I’m referring newbies to you.

    You forgot about blogligations. When you feel blog obligated because you just went to a party and now someone expects you to blog about it. I hate them. They should be denied.

  6. Amen! Blenvy? For me it’s when I’m being a slacker and see all the cool things other people are doing with fam, crafting, organizing. It doesn’t normally last long because I know that we’re all at different points in our lives and you all are just too cool to hate!

  7. This is such a great post! I just had this problem with a friend and I couldn’t understand why they would look so deep and get so hurt over nothing really! This was so well said and well put! It is hard to read everyone’s blog everyday and leave a comment for everyone….

    I have blog envy when I see how much time people have to be creative or when I see a writing style I love.

  8. This is a great post. Just what I needed after having a little Blenvy today. Anyway, I love, but it’s been down for awhile. When will it be back up? Love the blogs 🙂 You rock!

  9. I have stalked your blog for weeks now. Love your insight and perspective on certain issues, and this one is no exception.

    Why comment now you may ask? Because this one hits close to home for me, mostly because of your last paragraph.

    For several years I was a mother of 3 girls. I loved them more than I can say, but we always wanted a boy. I would dream of what he would look like (just like his daddy), I could see him following his dad around the yard with his own little fisher-price mower, and getting to go to work with him every now and then, etc… (you get the idea)

    I ran into a friend at Dillards one day while shopping for school clothes. She happens to be a mother of 3 boys. We started our complaining of how much fun it would be to have children of the opposite gender, and it would be fun to shop for clothes for the opposite gender…. so what did we do? JUST THAT! I shopped and got to pick out cute polos, button up’s, T’s, and those cute boy jeans for her boys, and she got to pick out cute matching outfits for my girls and off to the registers we went.

    We both had so much fun that day, and got to give each other an experience we would never have had otherwise.

    Just wanted you to know there are people who can relate and feel your pain!

    I have since been blessed with a boy (a little suprise after we thought our family was complete…. obviously someone of a higher power knew better than us) who is the mirror image of his daddy and idolizes him, just like I dreamed. I have been blessed!

    Too bad we don’t live closer… I have 3 daughters you could borrow anytime you wanted…. it’s not the same, but it’s still pretty fun! (and then you don’t have to listen to the whining and the tears! :))

    Best of Luck

  10. I noticed a little more traffic to my blog and through my sitemeter found the source-your previous post. ALWAYS love the visitors and love your blog. I agree whole heartedly with the post-on so many points. 😉

  11. Great post Laurie! I used to have “blenvy” when I first started blogging but finally learned how to be inspired to make some changes in my own life.

    I never felt good about myself being a SAHM, that’s why I went back to work after Tiffany was about 8 months old…but blogging made me realize that I can be a SAHM and still acomplish a lot of good things for my family and others around me. Yay!!!!

    Thanks for giving meaning back to my life! After all if wasn’t for you christmas card I wouldn’t be a blogger.

    I love you, sis!

  12. Great post!!

    I get envious of people’s writing skills and ability to express themselves so eloquently in words, and photo taking skills (also photoshop skills!)

    I also realize I am me and my blog is so me! And I like it like that!

  13. I turned my blenvy in to inspiration to tackle some of the things that others were doing like organizing my closets and pantry.

    I come across new and wonderful ideas all the time from some seriously talented women. Blogging is all about sharing a part of yourself. I say go ahead and “brag” most of us totally love it! Well written post.

  14. I think this is a great post. I get blenvy many times also. There are times when somebody I know writes something that is totally fake and so then that puts things into perspective sometimes for me. I try to be as honest and up front as I can and I really like others who can put both the good and the bad out there instead of all the good all the time. Nobody’s life is that perfect and if it is then why the heck are you blogging!

  15. I’m a pretty new blogger myself. So thanks for the Blogging 101. Love your site. It looks fabulous- see I am a little blenvious.

  16. I linked over from Wendi’s post today. I don’t read all the time but when I do you always have something worth reading. Your going on my google reader!!

    Very well written. It’s interesing how everyone feels so similar and yet we let other peoples shinning moments they share get us down. I think your right on.

    For me my I post things on my blog that I will want to look back and see as time passes. Every 6 months I burn the whole thing on a disk. Maybe my girls will engoy the pictures and stories when they are older. I’m suprised anyone reads anything I have to say. I love them for it it’s nice to feel heard.

    P.S. I Can understand wanting a girl. Sometimes I think of all the things I miss out on not having a boy and it makes me sad. Your granddughters are going to be super lucky to have you!!

  17. Hey Laurie–is it okay I linked to you on my post? I thought this was great, I really enjoyed reading it, and think others will as well.

    And what’s up with Anonymous? Seriously, why can’t people just be nice. I think you’re a doll. You do post about fun things all the time, but it’s real– fun things that you’re doing, and of course you want a record of the things you’re doing with your kids, your friends, etc. I love that you post it, it’s nice of you to share your ideas with us.

    Keep the great ideas coming!

  18. I’m a relatively new blogger, since about January. I have learned a lot about myself and recognized insecurity issues that i didn’t know that I had. I check a lot of blogs. I would check my sister’s blog and got curious to see if she had more people checking her blog than I did. I don’t know why it mattered so much to me. She is afterall 7 years younger than me. I found myself getting jealous of her instead of being happy that she had so many friends. I had to step back and take a look at myself and just be happy with me and my family. I can’t be just like all my friends and family and do all the things that they do. That’s just not the way life is. I have learned to appreciate the diversity out there. Diversity in home decor, personal style, activity choice etc. Wouldn’t it be boring if every family, every activity were the same on every blog. We would very soon spend our time doing something other than checking blogs during the day, right? Thanks for helping to put things more into perspective for me. 🙂

  19. This was a great post, how easy it is, especially for women, to experience envy from time to time.

    I have learned so much from other bloggers and it makes me want to do better and explore new talents.

    And you, Tip Junkie, are so AWESOME! I always love your ideas. Thanks for taking the time to put them together.

  20. Excellent excellent post Laurie! This is a whole new world with rules all its own. It’s good to occasionally have an etiquette reminder.

  21. This is a great post. I do find myself suffering from blenvy a lot. But instead of dwelling on it I decided to turn my blenvy into a good thing and started trying new things. Thanks for this post and so many others!!!

  22. This was a wonderful post. I really loved the keep it real. I suffer from thinking that no one wants to see the real side of me, even though I value seeing that side of other bloggers.

    I hear you with the daughter-blenvy. I’m in my midthirties and feelin’ the maternal clock (aka timebomb, hehe) tick. I even feel a twinge of blenvy about dogs, lol. It’s nice though that we can desire a certain experience, but still feel joy for the person who already enjoys it. :0)

  23. Great post! Blogging is so new that I don’t think most people know how to handle it all.

    I get blenvy when someone writes their post really well. I love good writing.

  24. I’m so far behind on reading posts (I’m the blogger whose kind of swung all the way over from Addicted to Apathy and trying to find my balance…)

    Anyway, this one was SO great. Thanks for sharing!

  25. I have no idea how I happened upon your blog but I love it and your Executive Homemaker webpage. Brilliant, Cute, and Fun!

    This was a great post. Might have to pass it around as it has some great blogger tips!

  26. Hey Laurie – Thanks for stopping by my recipe blog! I had to quit coming to see Tip Junkie and EH because of blenvy. Yeah, you just seem too perfect and amazing and your house is spotless in every pic and even with your hands full of boys who can be difficult,you seem to have it all together. I am soooo not the Laurie in the Jones family! No competition.

    But, as I’ve gotten to know you better through Lisa’s blog, I realize that you are real and funny and someone I could be real life friends with. (Because my real life friends have to have a sense of humor, be just a little crude, and be very tolerant ;D)

    Great post! Most of my blenvy is about women who are somehow able to be creative, spend quality time with their families, and still amazingly keep their houses in order. They must be born with an “organized” gene that I just don’t have (but I’m still trying to learn).

    Why I LOVE blogging – because I find great ideas and inspiration. Seeing other wonderful women doing great things makes me want to continually improve myself and learn to do new things! I also LOVE reading back through my posts and seeing the fun, creative things that I have done. It gives me the illusion that I am actually accomplishing something with my life. (Oh, and I do have a public blog – hotmamashouse dot blogspot dot com, please come by and say hi sometime 🙂

  27. HI – I’m Kristen and I really enjoyed finding and reading your blogs today! Perfect timing too – as I was going through a little blenvy, esp reading about a lot of different women going out on these amazing weekend getaways and here I am stuck in the hot desert, no beach weekend in sight! I feel better about it now though – thank you!

  28. Ha Ha So Funny! Your a funny girl! This post is so TRUE!!! Geezz all of us girls are so alike!!!! No more hating on each other :0)

    I hated it when people would quote my blog or never leave a comment….but like you said, if you judge your blogs by comments then all of us would be in trouble!!!

  29. I am new to blogging so it was GREAT to read this post. I will remember these tips as I look at others blogs. I think it's a great thing to show your successes as well as disappointments too, because we are only human and everyone makes mistakes. Thanks again!

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