Me with dirty hair and no make up.

Since my Blogging 101 – What Not To Do post featuring “blenvy“, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the topic. I wrote that post because those are the things I’ve personally learned from blogging and my personal dealings with blenvy. I wrote it to help me deal with my own insecurities and as a tribute to my 1 year of blogging.

Because life isn’t always filled with joy and happy times, I’ve added a new label to my blog posts called “Keeping It Real“. I briefly went back through the archives and updated some posts with this label. These are the posts where I vent a little, cry a little, and open myself up a little more to your judgement. These are my trials and my heart aches.

We all have them and we all post about them. Sometimes they get lost amongst the day-to-day activities we do as Mother’s and Women, but we all experience these down days. I was surprised at how many “Keeping It Real” posts I have shared with you this past year.

I’m making a real effort to make this blog reflect me and who I am as a whole. Obviously that’s not going to be entirely possible but it’s a goal of mine. I’ve often commented to my friends that I should add a crying child sound track to my blog – that would make my blog more realistic. {{not kidding}}

So from here on out, read my post imagining one of my 3 boys crying in the background. Hint: That’s why I get out often. {{giggle}}

A head honcho Mary Kay lady came to speak to us at church quite some time ago, and gave such a motivating talk on “Good, Better, Best”. It was absolutely fabulous and really spoke to me.

She put things into perceptive and I’ve been trying to get myself motivated to get back to the basics ever since. I kept telling myself that, “slow and steady wins the race.” But somehow I got on the autobahn and I can’t slow down for fear of crashing.

Denae’s recap of one of the classes she attended at Women’s Conference finally did it! So, last week I took the time to sit down, think of the 5 fundamentals of family life, and schedule them into the insanity which is my life.

I also loved Angie’s comment about teaching our children ‘the art of conversation’ during dinner. Honestly, that has never occurred to me. Our house is so loud that Jason and I like to eat in peace and don’t allow talking at the dinner table. {{my bad}}

Obviously, last week there were a lot of changes at once but the boys handled it well, considering.

I finished my summer schedule for the boys yesterday and I have a better outlook on the next 3 months. I’m armed with the 5 fundamentals of family life, a neighborhood pool, amazing activities thanks to Rebecca, a babysitter once a week, and a LOT of diet Coke. 😉

Is anyone else stressing about summer?

Someone hacked into Executive Homemaker and made a mess! Please be patient while we figure out the extent of the damage.

In the meantime, if you need a file for an upcoming event e-mail me and I’ll send it to you.

**Update – The hacker tried to put advertising banners on the home page which ended up corrupting the site. We’ve fixed the problem and it’s up and running again. Sorry for any inconvenience.

Shortly after I was married, and cooking hamburger helper successfully, I started to prepare to be the best mother ever. {{I can’t stop laughing because I’m not kidding}}

I’ll be honest with you, I thought I had it in the bag! Seeing my parents struggle with their relationship, I was more worried about being a wife than a mother. After all – I was armed with my list of “Things I’ll never do when I’m a mom” which also included “Things I will make sure to do” as well as “Things to be sure to tell my children and not expect them to figure it out on their own”. I was all ready. (Where’s that list now, you ask? I burned it in the sink sometime around year 4 of motherhood.)

So, I set out xeroxing, coloring, and laminating file folder games, family home evening lessons, and talks. I had visions of playing these games with my happy and willing child in loving bliss. In between kisses, hugs, and lots of clapping, of course.

A full Rubbermaid of laminated goodies, a baby shower, and 3 years later my oldest son was born. My divine role as mother had begun.

Can you say colic?

I’m in California with out any family, with out a car, and with a baby that takes two 20 min naps a day, wakes up at 5:30am, and finally goes to sleep for only 3 hours at a time at 9:00pm. During the day he’s nursing every 2 hours. My boobs are huge and get infected regularly and I’m barley functioning because of all the crying.

Motherhood was NOT what everyone said it would be.

To make a long story short(er) I managed through ignorance, got through denial, barely made it through martyrdom, had a very angry period but we won’t elaborate, cried and prayed a lot, was rescued by a team of angels and … after repeating many of the same stages … I’m now in acceptance.

“Hello, my name is Laurie and I won’t ever be the best Mom ever. Actually, I no longer want to be. I want to raise responsible boys who will grow up to be wonderful husbands and fathers. I’m willing to get my hands dirty to make that happen. I don’t want to enable, spoil, or play the martyr. Life is hard and many times we have cereal for dinner.”

Motherhood is different for all of us. I’ll never forget an Oprah I saw when Davis was 4 and at his most difficult. She was featuring several different mothers. One was saying that being a mother was the most wonderful experience ever and another one said “Being a mother sucks 80% of the time!”. I started crying. Finally someone could relate to how I was feeling.

My experience in being a Mother is listening to criticism of my children daily, figuring out how to teach them new skills by reading boring books instead of romantic novels, going through the tedious motions of trying to change those behaviors. In the meantime, knowing that you won’t know if it all works until they’re grown. All the while, hoping they won’t then resent you for what you’ve had to put them through to give them the best chance at a happy life.

My story reads more like a gothic novel than a Jane Austen classic but “that’s life”. I don’t expect to have my fairytale ending. That’s not my purpose in life. I’m just doing the best I can with what I’ve got and that’s ok.

So if you’re struggling with your divine role as mother, I am too. {{hugs}}

I got the sweetest e-mail a while ago and I’ve been reading it over and over again. I thought I’d share the insight I received, hopefully it will inspire you as it did me:

“Laurie, … I hope u know how special u are, even if you DO nothing today you are amazing just because you are. We are human Beings not human Doings. Love you.”

Isn’t that the most thoughtful e-mail! I’m so inspired by this friend and she seems to be constantly concerned for others. She embodies service and is such a wonderful support. Thank you!

Did anyone watch Maria Shriver on Oprah yesterday? I was so impressed that she would announce to the world she had an identity crisis and that she struggles with living up to her parent’s expectations.

Maria also confided that she attributed her job and her accomplishments with who she was and her purpose in life. I can completely identify with that. Most days I evaluate my success by how much I’ve done – not how much I’ve loved.

Maria went further to say that she struggled with her image as being “first lady” of California and was unsure of what exactly that meant. In my own experience, there was a time that I tried to do it all and be the “Super Mom”. I felt that there were pressures to look a certain way, do specific things with your kids, and serve others all the time. Needless to say, it was impossible for me to achieve and it was the unhappiest time I can remember.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I think my friend got it spot on – be who you are for God, yourself, and your family. Slow down, cherish the people around you, and just BE.

Some of the people I admire the most have what I call ‘still souls’ and they are able to live in the present. When you talk to them they are right there with you, instead of distracted. I’ve got to admit, I have a terrible time doing that. Which is why my word of the year is Cherish.

Can you relate?

“Today I am quiet, my mom understands. She gave me two ice creams and then we held hands. We went to the movies and then had a bite. I cried just a little and then felt alright.”

That’s my mood today. Even though I have had so much fun with guests, I’m having Tip Junkie redesigned and it’s going so well, and I’ve just uploaded 4 new Mom-prenuer’s products to Executive Homemaker. I feel down and a little blue. I took a 3 hour nap this evening and am feeling a little better. 😉

I’m sure it has something to do with the 9 guests I’ve hosted over the past 4 weeks. The stress of Davis’ new expander’s which is making life a little difficult. As well as the anticipation of Dylan’s doctors appointment this Thursday.

I’ve read some beautiful posts about your children the past several days and it’s really encouraged me. I love hearing how wonderful children are and the joys they bring into your lives. Even though our roller coaster is on a decent, I find great comfort that it won’t be long until we have our hands in the air and are screaming with delight.

Credits: I got that cute poem from a children’s book by Jamie Lee Curtis called “Today I Feel Silly” and the boys love it. (I have lots of social skills and feeling type books.)